How to Find a Therapist: Tips, Questions, and What to Know Before You Start

Starting therapy can feel like a big, overwhelming step, but it doesn’t have to be. Finding the right therapist is kind of like dating: you’re looking for someone who gets you, supports you, and helps you grow. (And yes, sometimes you have to go on a few awkward first dates before you find your person.)

If you’re wondering how to find a therapist and what to consider along the way, here’s a supportive guide to make the process a little less intimidating.

Start by Getting Clear on What You Want and Need

Before you even Google "therapists near me," take some time to reflect. Therapy is an incredible opportunity to dig deep, but it helps to have a loose roadmap in mind.

Here are some questions to guide your brainstorming:

• Are you ready to be completely honest during sessions? (Therapy only really works when you are!)

• Are there traumas you’d like to work through or better understand?

• What stressors or anxieties are most affecting your daily life?

• Are there personality traits you’d love to shift, soften, or strengthen?

• Are there coping skills or habits you want to build?

• Where could you use some support and guidance in your life right now? 

• Are you open to working through any negative emotions that working through traumas may stir up?

Creating a simple list (even just a few bullet points) can help you find a therapist whose specialties align with what you want to explore. You’ll also be equipped to vocalize where you are currently and what you’d like to work towards, to your therapist.

Mental Health Professionals, Who Does What? 

Before you start booking appointments, it’s helpful to know who’s who in the mental health world. Use the information below as a starting point, but you have to do more research.

• Therapist: A general term used to describe someone trained to help people talk through and work on emotional, behavioral, and mental health challenges. It’s not a specific license or degree. Counselors, psychologists, and social workers can all be referred to as therapists. It’s like calling someone a “coach”, you’ll want to look a little deeper to see their specialty!

  
  

• Counselor: Typically focuses on talk therapy to help you navigate specific life challenges like relationships, stress, or grief.

  
  

• Licensed Therapist (like an LCSW, LPC, or LMFT): Can dive deeper with you over time, helping you work through long-term patterns, past traumas, or mental health conditions. They’re trained in evidence-based therapy techniques (e.g., CBT, EMDR, Art Therapy)  and hold a state license. 

  
  

• Psychologist: Holds a doctoral degree (PhD or PsyD) and is trained in diagnosing and treating mental health conditions. Psychologists often provide talk therapy and psychological testing. They’re especially helpful for exploring long-term patterns, trauma, or in-depth behavioral work.

  
  

• Psychiatrist: A medical doctor who can prescribe medication and often works in tandem with a therapist or counselor. Think of it like this: a therapist might help you unpack the weight you’re carrying, and a psychiatrist can help with the medical tools (like medication) to make carrying that weight a little lighter.

  
  

All of them can be part of your support team, a combination, or just one. It just depends on what you need most right now.

Check Your Insurance and Understand Your Coverage

Money shouldn’t be a barrier to healing, but let’s be real: therapy can get pricey. If you have health insurance, it’s a good idea to:

• Find out what your copay is for mental health services

• Check coverage for both in-network and out-of-network therapists (because sometimes the best fit isn’t always in-network)
  

Pro Tip: Call your insurance company and ask for them to email you a full list of therapists who accept your plan, saving you a lot of time and stress.

No Health Insurance or budget? No problem. 

If traditional therapy feels financially out of reach right now, please know, you’re not out of options! Your mental health is still a priority, and there are some more affordable (even free!) ways to get support. Many cities have community mental health clinics or nonprofit organizations that offer sliding scale therapy based on your income. Search “low-cost therapy near me” or “low-cost therapy sites”.

If you’re a student, don’t forget about on-campus counseling centers. If you’re employed, your job might offer free short-term therapy through an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). You can also search for free peer-support groups that offer safe spaces to talk and learn coping tools. There are also apps that provide evidence-based techniques for managing stress and anxiety, without a crazy price tag. 

Remember that free doesn’t mean “less than”, it means resourceful. There are paths to healing that won’t drain your wallet, just your search history.

Decide: In-Person or Virtual Sessions?

Another big decision: would you prefer in-person therapy or virtual therapy? Consider:

• Which option fits better with your schedule?

• Where do you feel more comfortable opening up? A cozy office or your couch at home?

Virtual therapy has made mental health support so much more accessible. Therapy apps are worth considering if flexibility is key for you.

Start Your Search 

Okay, now you’re ready to start your search. You can use trusted directories like Therapy for Black Girls, Health in Her Hue, or Psychology Today.

When browsing therapists, look for ones who specialize in the areas you want to work on. And remember, the first therapist you meet might not be the one and that's okay. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find a good fit. 

If the First Therapist Isn't the Right Fit…

If it doesn’t feel right after a few sessions, don’t panic and definitely don’t beat yourself up. It’s completely normal. Here's what can help:

• Reflect on what felt "off" so you can refine your search

• Make a list of your non-negotiables (e.g., "I need someone who uses a warm, empathetic style" or "I prefer someone who offers structured homework between sessions")

• Give yourself permission to keep looking

Finding the right therapist is an act of self-respect, not a failure. You’re allowed to be picky when it comes to your mental health.

Questions to Consider When Choosing a Therapist

As you narrow down your options, here are a few questions to gently think about:

• Gender: Would you feel more comfortable with a therapist of a certain gender?

• Language: If you speak another language, do you want a bilingual therapist?

• Race/Ethnicity: Would it help to have someone who shares your cultural background, or are you open to a different perspective?

• Specialties: Does this therapist have experience with the areas you want to work on?

Do what feels safest and most supportive for you.

You Deserve Support 

Finding a therapist takes a little patience, a little courage, and a little persistence. But it’s so, so worth it. The right therapist won’t "fix" you (because you’re not broken!), they’ll help you understand yourself better, heal in ways you didn't even know were possible, and move forward feeling a little lighter.

Take your time, trust your gut, and remember: you’re not just looking for any therapist. You’re looking for your therapist.

You’ve got this 🖤. 

If you’ve got some other tips, please share them below!